


I know no one will save me

by ZoenOut



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angel Crowley (Good Omens), Angst, Crying, Crying Crowley (Good Omens), Hurt Crowley, Hurt Crowley (Good Omens), Hurt No Comfort, Men Crying, Sad, Sad Crowley (Good Omens), Stars, The Fall (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26953933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZoenOut/pseuds/ZoenOut
Summary: The Starmaker knew something was changing. He knew he wouldn't be a starmaker much longer.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	I know no one will save me

**Author's Note:**

> Got inspired to write this from the song "Nobody" by Mitski. Just the lines "I know no one will save me", "I just want somebody near me" and "I just want to feel alright" really struck me as Crowley angst material.  
> Enjoy! I appreciate all comments and kudos.

By this point the Starmaker had realized what was happening.  
He felt it, something fundamental in him was changing. Slowly morphing into something else. Like the night slowly drawing closer, getting darker and darker until in a flash it’s not dusk anymore. He felt that turning point coming closer like an animal on the prowl and he knew he couldn’t stop it. It made him feel jumpy and hopeless. He felt whatever it was slipping through his fingers, like fine sand. He knew he couldn’t be saved. No one would save him. No one would be able to save him. Slowly he was being pulled in two directions and he was breaking into splinters. 

He didn’t smile while making stars anymore, he cried. Tears ran down his cheeks in fast streams because he knew he wouldn’t be a Starmaker much longer. He didn’t know what would happen to him but he knew he wouldn’t have his position much longer. Something in him ached every time he put something into being. He wanted to keep creating but it hurt, it hurt more than he could describe, almost more than he could bear. It stabbed him somewhere in his ethereal soul. At the very center of it. 

Feel the power laying in your hands. There, feel it. Now swirl it, round and round. Do you feel how warm it is? Now, throw it into the heavens! Make sure to aim.  
Stab.  
Something shatters.  
A cry of pain.  
The Starmaker cried out. It hurt too much. He could feel himself shaking, he was shattering. Breaking apart. His hands felt so cold. He got up and ran. He ran to the seat of the Almighty. 

When he got there he fell down on the ground. His knees buckled and he was left laying flat. He sobbed to the marble floor.  
“What is wrong with me?” he cried.  
“I do not know what you mean,” answered the Almighty, calm as always.  
“You do!” shouted the Starmaker, “You have to know.” He was shaking more now, his entire body shook.  
The Almighty didn’t answer and the Starmaker continued.  
“Everything hurts! Something is wrong, I know it. Help me! Save me! I just want to feel alright…”  
He clutched his hands together, he tried to pray.  
The marble shattered under him.

He plummeted through the air, through the galaxies he helped create. It was almost peaceful. He knew he was changed now. The transformation was finished, nightfall had come. He wasn’t screaming even as he burned, even as the atmosphere tore his flesh from him. It was the others that screamed. The ones that now fell one by one. The former Starmaker wasn’t the first to hit the ground but he was the one that had started falling first. But he’d done most of the falling while still in heaven. This was just the last stretch. Sure, he cried. Sure, it hurt. But yet there was a kind of calm to it. 

He landed in the bright blue sulphur. Now this hurt. It was boiling. The pain merged into a single fuzz. Somehow he got to the rocky shore. He clutched his barely there hands.  
“I don’t want much you know…” He sniffled. “I don’t want much…”


End file.
